The days are flashing by so quickly now and June 1st is looming ever nearer. Sorta like the feeling of swimsuit season after the holidays. I can feel my Ego cowering in the corner. The last few days I have meditated 15 minutes every morning and that voice in my head won't shut up! I mean, I'm no Yogi so it's not like the voice is unusual but its like it knows it has a war coming and is attempting a preemptive attack. It goes something like this: "You should probably readjust your leg, it will go numb soon and then your whole meditation will be interrupted."
"Oh, good point, thanks."
"Oh, ya no problem, by the way you probably shouldn't try this little project because if you fail that's just another thing you have failed, so you should probably protect yourself and not even start it to begin with."
"Hmm, I am afraid I may fail, plus it is time consuming. Plus, I really need that extra sleep in the morning." "Shit, stop thinking!" "Focus on the breath, Hong Sa, Hong Sa, Hong Sa....."
And so it continues... my Ego telling me why not to meditate, how to meditate, where to meditate, what time my show comes on." Usually it doesn't personally attack my abilities, more just distract me. So this unusual attack on my project is obviously Ega's fear of being annihilated. I should probably warn you now, I named my Ego , Ega. Not in the psychotic dissociative identity way, but more to remind me there is a deference between my Ego and my true self. I happened to be learning spanish at the time and me being a girl, I figured Ego needed to be feminine not masculine, hence Ega. Or as I sometimes refer to her La Ega.
